There is something wonderful about Adoption

I know so many of my friends and family are waiting to see more photos of our new baby girl but I have been pre-occupied by daydreams!   Honestly I am still overwhelmed by the fact we really are going to have another daughter and a little babe at that:))


My heart is full of joy,  because adoption has changed my life for the better.  I have learned that I am a better person, because I am my daughter's mother.  I have learned that I can love unconditionally and only want the best for my daughter(s).  I have concluded that this job of motherhood is harder than any job any person can take on, but it's more than it's weight in gold.  And, I have realized that adoption transcends all boundries and you realize you are stronger than you ever thought as are the children.   I am still learning and recently discovered how I've become a bit over protective  this time around, of both girls. Perhaps it's because of the nature of her defect or just normal concern.  Now I have two girls to worry about!!!  It's a totally different scenario trying to prepare a tenacious 4 year old for a sibling.  Kira has become very inquisitive about everything, often asking questions that take me completely off guard.  Such as "Why was my sister hatched in China?" yes, she did say that and now asks "Is my sister okay"?  I have explained in very simple terms the nature of her boo boo and thankfully there are many resources available to help me.

We received more photos a few weeks ago but most of them were blurred. As I rushed to open each jpeg I would carefully look at her face, tiny little fingers and think how perfect she is! Then I came upon this photo, actually pretty good quality and thought my goodness, she is so beautiful, with big almond eyes that seem to speak to your heart!  I completely melt when I look at her face and the first time I printed it off, Kira grabbed it and hugged the photo.  I of course, cried, then wiped my face so Kira didn't get upset.  I feel like a complete emotional wreck sometimes because I know all too well the challenges and pain this baby is going through and will continue to go through till she is surgically corrected.

There is something beautiful and wonderful about adoption and right now I just can't seem to put it all into words.  I now understand things I never would have, had I not been give the chance to parent a child.  I also bask in the sweetness of innocence and laughter that takes me back to my own happy childhood memories.

She's so sweet I smile every time I look at her face!

June Ramblings

Yes I know, blogging has taken a back seat these days, mostly because I don't have the time, but so want to keep archiving because I love writing, it's so soothing to me and very important that I continue to journal this special child that I absolutely adore!

Of course the reason for my posts are hopefully filled with the musing of childhood as I continue to watch my baby girl do and say the silliest things. While it's been a most difficult and emotional year for me personally, I remain focused on my family and child, the passions of my life.

So here's a bit of Kira's personality at the sweet age of three.

Kira remains an incredibly sweet and affectionate child. She loves giving and receiving hugs and kisses. Most recently she is fascinated by newborns and adores peeking in a stroller and asking me to look at the baby with her. At her pre-school she adores the younger children and will even share Elmo with them. That's a huge step considering in the fall, she wanted to bite anyone that came between her and the little guy. Thank goodness she grew out of that!

She's very much a sweet and pleasant little girl who interacts with adults as much as her peers.

She has become very vocal and is quite able to make her issues known. Yes there are those "meltdown" moments, which now I know are related to hunger or exhaustion (now that I think about it, I have them too) or just wanting my attention

Her most recent interests are dressing up in her various princess outfits and playing with her little people toy house. No she hasn't forgotten about her buddy Elmo, she usually puts him to bed early, neatly tucking him under some blanket that I find behind the couch or under a table. We tried to get a cute baby carriage for her to wheel her little buddy around in, however the cat proceeded to pee in it and hence it ended in the trash. In fact the cat and the dog have been just a tad jealous, but I do try and spread my affections:))

I did catch Kira yelling at the cat (as if that cat really cared) a few weeks back. These were her words "Cat, no more peeing on my toys! You're going to go to time out, you hear me?" So on went the conversation as she shook her finger at cat. Then I couldn't help but scratch my head and say to myself "is that how I really sound"? I think so which is very funny because it doesn't take a child behavior specialist to tell me that making ideal threats of going to time out is just that!

Kira loves her new big girl bed, but I don't! Yep, I'm very co-dependent on her. On nights that I can't sleep I gently scoop her up and bring her into my bed with me. Although lately, the kick boxing to my head are getting more severe when she wants to wake me. The evenings are precious as she loves me to read to her. So I must grab at least 10 long books and we proceed to read and read and read...."momma, you're snoring" and then I awaken and read some more, till the tot drifts off into dreamland.

WHY Momma, WHY? The question that starts every sentence these days! Inquisitive child, then again I ask the same questions too when I want answers! In fact I believe that children ask why because they want more than just a simple explanation. Perhaps adults believe tots are limited in comprehension skills therefore we keep answers "short" and "simple", but the persistent "why" leaves me to believe they're fully capable of longer and simple answers. So the persistent "why is Ariel in the ocean" question was met with several different answers that kept her entertained and fascinated. I am confident that's how a good child's story gets written.

Now to my amazement Kira can manuever the computer mousepad, pick and choose her own games, trouble shoot and probably re-boot it if necessary! No longer can I hide the fact that I'm editing on the computer, she'll yell "no more puter Mommy", I just love it. After all she is right.

So that's a quick summary of my little Spicy Girl for now. It's difficult getting her on camera these days, but some of her photos are just precious.

I so adore you baby girl, you make my heart sing!

Happy 3rd Birthday!

STUDYING HER TINKER BELL TOY

OH SHE'S MY DAUGHTER ALRIGHT, STARTING OUT THE DAY WITH A LARGE CUP OF JAVA!

NOW WIDE EYED AND AWAKE FROM THE CAFFEINE JOLT (CHECK OUT THOSE EYES) WE WENT TO TAKE SOME PHOTOS! KIRA LOVES FOR ME TO TAKE PHOTOS OF HER, BUT ONLY WHEN SHE WANTS THEM DONE!

CAN'T DECIDE WHICH ONE IS MY FAVORITE! SHE HAS THE BEST EXPRESSIONS, BUT THIS IS DELIGHTFUL, LOVE THAT DIMPLE THERE BABY!

TRYING TO GET OUT OF POSING BUT AFTER A FEW BRIBES SHE CONTINUED ON.

NOW IT WAS MY TURN TO BE ENTERTAINED. YEP, SHE WAS WORKING ME ALRIGHT, BUT LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

ON JANUARY 20TH WE CELEBRATED KIRA'S THIRD BIRTHDAY! I HAVE BEEN DELAYING WRITING THIS OR I SHOULD SAY DIDN'T QUITE KNOW WHAT OR HOW TO WRITE ABOUT IT UNTIL NOW. KIRA SHARES THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS MY MOTHER, SO I WAS SO SAD WHEN I WENT TO BUY KIRA A CARD AND SAW ALL THE MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY CARDS THERE TOO. IT JUST HIT ME THERE IN THAT HALLMARK STORE THAT I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEND MY MOM ANOTHER CARD OR EVEN GET ONE OF HER SPECIAL CARDS WITH HER HAND WRITTEN SENTIMENTS IN IT. I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND CRIED, RIGHT THERE IN THE STORE. I PRETENDED LIKE I WAS LOOKING AT SOMETHING ON THE VERY BOTTOM THERE, SO NO ONE WOULD CALL OUT THE LOONY TRUCK, BUT I SOBBED ALL THE WAY HOME.

HOW FAST SHE HAS GROWN, SEEMS LIKE JUST A FEW MONTHS AGO WHEN WE WERE STILL CONCERNED ABOUT HER ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE CLEARLY, YET NOW SHE'S SPEAKING LIKE EVERY OTHER 3 YR OLD. IN FACT KIRA WAS RECENTLY EVALUATED FOR THE 3RD TIME BY A PRIVATE SPEECH THERAPY CLINICIAN WHO WAS AMAZED AT HER COGNITIVE, RECEPTIVE AND VERBAL SKILLS. WE'RE THRILLED SHE DOESNT' NEED SPEECH THERAPY AT THIS TIME.



NOW I LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL CHILD AND THINK HOW FAR SHE HAS COME, HOW MUCH LOVE AND JOY AND MOTIVATION SHE BRINGS ME EVERY DAY.

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR KIRA, OUR DAUGHTER, MY INSPIRATION!

Back to Basics

OKAY, I KNOW THIS TITLE IS A CHRISTINA AQUILERA SONG, BUT OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING...GETTING BACK TO THE BASICS SO THAT I CAN SORT OF GET BACK ON TRACK. BLOGGING HAS TAKEN A BACK SEAT THESE DAYS TO OTHER EVENTS, BUT HAVING LOOKED BACK AT PREVIOUS POSTS I REALIZED THIS BLOG HAS ALLOWED ME TO MAKE SOME AMAZING FRIENDS AND BRAG ABOUT MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL. SO HAVING SAID THAT, I'M GOING TO TRY AND GET BACK IN THE LOOP.

SO WHAT IS KIRA UP TO AT 32 MONTHS OF AGE

• TALKING UP A STORM. NOW SPEAKING 6-8 WORD SENTENCES AND I'M SO HAPPY!
• CLIMBING AND JUMPING
• RIDING HER TRIKE (IN THE HOUSE, BECAUSE MOMMY CAN'T RUN AS FAST AS SHE CAN PEDDLE THAT BIKE).
• BOSSING HER DOG AROUND.
• ROLE PLAYING WITH ELMO, MAX AND RUBY.
• MAKING NEW FRIENDS IN PRE-SCHOOL AND LEARNING TO CLEAN UP!
• CAN DRESS AND SOMETIMES COORDINATE HER OUTFITS.
• COUNTS TO 12 AND KNOWS ALL HER ALPHABETS.
• CAN PUT TOGETHER 12 PIECE PUZZLE WITHOUT HELP.
• THINKS HER KITCHEN IS A REAL KITCHEN AND SO I FIND ALL KINDS OF STUFF IN IT!
• NOW ANSWERS THE REAL PHONE AND CONVERSES WITH MY FRIENDS!
• SHE CRAYONS ON THE BIG SCREEN TV AND ALSO WASHES IT OFF.
• CAN THROW A BALL LIKE COLE HAMMEL (GO PHILLIES)!
• SHE LOVES TO DANCE AND REALLY HAS SOME RHYTHM.
• LOVES GIRLY THINGS (PURSES, SHOES, DRESSES).
• ENJOYS PLAYING WITH HER FRIENDS AND ASKS FOR SARAH ALL THE TIME!
• READS BOOKS TO HER DOG AND ELMO BABIES.

SHE IS A SHEER DELIGHT AND CAN OUT TALK ME:))

OCCASIONALLY SHE WILL HAM IT UP FOR THE CAMERA SO HERE'S SOME OF MY FAVORITE OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS.

A step at a time

MY DEAR FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS, A HUGE THANK YOU FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS OF COMFORT AND SUPPORT. I'VE GOT CARDS FROM PEOPLE I NEVER MET AND THEN THOSE I AM SO CLOSE TO. I AM SO AMAZED AT THE OUTPOURING OF LOVE FOR MY FAMILY AND I, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY VERY GRATEFUL.

IT'S STILL SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO GET THROUGH THE DAYS WITHOUT SPEAKING TO MY MOM. TODAY, KIRA REACHED FOR HER PHOTO AND SAID "MOM MOM IS IN MY HEART" AND PUT HER HAND ON HER CHEST. I BURST OUT IN TEARS OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING HER. THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO GENTLY KISS THE PHOTO AND HAND IT BACK TO ME. I GUESS SHE SENSES MY PAIN, I JUST HOPE SHE DOESN'T HEAR ME CRYING LATE AT NIGHT.

MY DAYS ARE FULL OF PLAY WITH MY DAUGHTER, BUT MY NIGHTS REMAIN PENSIVE.

I HOPE TO CATCH UP ON THIS BLOG HERE SOON. I HAVE SOME GREAT PHOTOS THAT NEED TO BE HERE AND ALSO WHEN I LOOK BACK AT THIS BLOG, I REMEMBER IT WAS AROUND THIS TIME WHEN I GOT MY NEW "MAKEOVER" BLOG. I MISS BLOGGING AND MAKING NEW FRIENDS AND WANT TO POST SOON.

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN FOR SHOWING YOUR CONCERN AND HELPING ME TO SOMEHOW HEAL AND GET THROUGH THIS.

A Mother's Love

I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO BLOG OF LATE, MOSTLY BECAUSE I WAS SO FOCUSED ON MY PHOTOGRAPHY, NOW I THINK THAT WAS LOST TIME AS CURRENTLY I MUST DEAL WITH A FAMILY TRAGEDY.

USUALLY I AM GIFTED WITH WORDS OF COMFORT WHEN IT COMES TO OTHERS I CARE ABOUT, BUT THIS TIME I AM COMPLETELY LOST. LOST AND LONELY, ISOLATED AND SCARED, ANXIOUS AND ANGRY, BECAUSE THE WOMAN WHO BROUGHT ME INTO THIS WORLD, SUDDENLY LEFT, LEAVING ME WITH ALL THESE EMOTIONS I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DEAL WITH.

I FIND MYSELF RE-VISITING MY PAST, HOPING THAT WHEN I DREAM, I FIND MY MOTHER STANDING NEXT TO ME SMILING AND TELLING ME EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. THEN I AWAKE AND THIS SINKING FEELING HITS ME THAT I'LL NEVER SEE HER BEAUTIFUL SMILING FACE AGAIN.

SO NOW I THINK ABOUT MY MOTHER'S LEGACY TO ME, THE GIFT OF LOVE THAT TRANSCENDS DECADES, EVOLVING INTO A BOND THAT GROWS STRONGER THROUGH YEARS AND IS NEVER BROKEN. IT IS SECURITY, ADVICE AND STRENGTH TO MOVE FORWARD WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN'T, IT IS JOY, CONTENTMENT AND WARMTH ON A BRISK FALL DAY. BUT MOST OF ALL, THIS LOVE, IS ABOUT A MOTHER AND HER DAUGHTER, WHO NOW GRACIOUSLY WILL CARRY ON A LEGACY OF HER LIFE STORIES.

WHILE I DEBATED WRITING ANYTHING ABOUT MY LOSS, I REALIZED THAT THIS BLOG IS ABOUT OUR LIVES AND CERTAINLY MY MOTHER WAS A VERY IMPORTANT FIGURE IN MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE. I JUST HOPE I CAN BE HALF THE MOTHER TO KIRA THAT MY DEAR MOTHER WAS TO ME.

MOM,
I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!

A skip, hop and dance for Daddy

SMILING SWEETIE

JUST ONE MINUTE HERE! (HER EXPRESSIONS JUST MAKE ME LAUGH)

ME AND MY BEE 

AS YOU CAN TELL KIRA'S VERY EXCITED TO SEE HER DADDY!

DADDY'S HOME!

OKAY, I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I WASN'T QUITE IN THE MOOD TO EDIT ALL THE PHOTOS, SO MOST OR SOOC.  I JUST HAD TO POST THEM BECAUSE SHE LOOKED SO STINKIN CUTE AND I JUST LOVE HER SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!  

Maa, look what I can do when you're on the computer!

MAA, I'M GOING TO PRESS THIS HERE BIG RED BUTTON THAT SAYS DON'T PRESS! YEP THE LITTLE BABE DID JUST THAT, SHE FIGURED OUT HOW TO SET OFF AN ALARM THAT WASN'T EVEN ARMED!  THE ALARM COMPANY SAID SHE PUNCHED IN THE CORRECT SET OF SEQUENCED NUMBERS TO DO THAT.  I TOLD HIM SHE'S ONLY 2, HE SAID WELL THAT'S THE ONLY WAY SHE COULD HAVE SET IT OFF, I TOLD HIM, HE NUTS!  SHE'S ONLY 2 AS IN TWO YEARS OLD!  BUT NOW IT WAS MY PROBLEM NOT HIS TO DEAL WITH.

NEXT THING I KNOW SIRENS WERE BLASTING, EAR PIERCING SOUNDS WERE COMING FROM PLASTIC THINGIES IN THE CEILING AND THE DOGS HOWLING, THE CATS ON THE CEILING AND I'M HEADING TO THE NUT HOUSE!  HOW WAS I GOING TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO THE POLICE (I WAS THINKING THEY WERE ABOUT TO SHOW UP ANY MINUTE) THEN I SUDDENLY REMEMBERED, I DON'T HAVE AN ALARM, SO WHAT'S ALL THIS NOISE ABOUT!  UGH, THE NOISE WAS DEAFENING AND I COULDN'T THINK OF WHAT TO DO OR WHOM TO CALL.  SO I WALKED DOWN INTO THE BASEMENT AND STARTED PULLING BREAKERS, OFF ON/OFF ON, NOTHING!  THEN PULLED OUT SOME PLUGS, NOTHING!  THEN REALIZED I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE BECAUSE I COULDN'T STAND THE NOISE, WHEN SUDDENLY I REALIZED, HEY I'M A NURSE, I'VE HAD SOME EXPERIENCE IN ELECTRICITY, SO LET ME PUT MY THINKING CAP ON.

OKAY DOES ANYONE RECOGNIZE ANYTHING FAMILIAR IN THE FOLLOWING PHOTOS?

WELL GOOD, NEITHER DID I, BUT I HAD TO DO SOMETHING!

SO I WENT TO THE BASEMENT AND FOUND THIS CIRCUIT BOARD!  AH WHATS A FEW CHIPS HERE AND THERE AND SOME WIRES TO A GAL, RIGHT?
SAME POWER CIRCUIT BOARD NOW RESET AND ARMED (OOOH SOUNDS DANGEROUS)
THIS WAS BEFORE RESET AND I JUST PULLED AT THE WIRES.  I THOUGHT ONE OF THEM HAS TO SHUT THE THING UP! I DON'T THINK ANY BOMB SQUADES WOULD HIRE ME AFTER THIS MESS:))
I FOUND A BATTERY, THAT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE ANY BATTERY I WAS USED TO SEEING AND PULLED THE ELECTRODES.  ACTUALLY I TUGGED AND RIPPED THEM OFF,  AND THE NOISE STOPPED.  AWH PEACE AND QUIET!  FINALLY, BUT THEN MY EARS STARTED TO RING, HONESTLY I WAS LOOSING IT, KIND OF LIKE BEING RIGHT UP TO A HUGE METAL ROCK BAND WITH YOUR EAR PLASTERED TO THE SPEAKER.  THEN YOU WALK OUT AND CAN'T HEAR A THING, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED

TO ME...SO MORAL OF THE STORY, WHEN BABY WANTS TO PLAY WITH YOU, PLAY!

OR ALARMS WILL START BUZZING AND SQUEALING AND YOU'D WISH YOU WOULD HAVE JUST PUT IN THAT DVD ELMO TAPE FOR THE 100TH TIME!

OH SO GLAD MY BROTHER IS AN ELECTRICIAN, HE KNEW WHAT TO DO AND PUT ALL THOSE WIRES BACK IN PLACE!  THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY BROTHER, YOU'RE THE BEST!  

Old and New

I added these photos after I was playing around with the saturation and sharpness.  I loved this photo but there is some blurring.  

Just posted this photo because I love the expression on Kira's face and it somehow captures her oh so pretty eyes.  

While I am not a member of my favorite photography blog "We Picture This", I follow it closely because I now personally know some of these talented Mamarazzis.  It is a great way to learn this wonderful hobby I have always loved, especially after I moved to Colorado. 

It was there that I realized I could see beauty through the eye of a camera.  Though I never considered myself artistic, there was never a photo I didn't like creating when shooting the Rocky Mountains or the tiny plants that grew at the base of the timberline.  What a beautiful state and yes I do miss living there!  However, there's always a photo op if you keep your eyes open. 

So here's my interpretation of this month's theme "Old and New".

I so love to watch Kira and how she interacts with new things around her.  She seemed to know that this bracelet was delicate and touches it with such gentleness.

There is so much sentiment that goes into this photo. This charm bracelet was a gift from my parents to me while we waited for Kiras' referral. I called my blog then "Waiting for our Ladybug" and as you can see, Kira too, has a love for ladybugs. However, there are two other important charms on this bracelet, one a charm that was on my Grandmother's bracelet that represented her love for baking, and the other, a heart shaped charm that has my name and birth date on it, given to my mother by my father. Three generations of love on this beautiful bracelet.


Nikon D90
Mode: Auto
Lens: Nikkor 18-105mm f 3.5-5.6
ISO: 400
Aperature: f 5.6
Shutter: 1/100s
Focal length: 105mm

No flash

A Garden Party

The day was filled with anticipation.  The weather was perfect for a Garden Party at The Princess Ladybug Palace.  So tiny Princess Ladybug, stood at the front door to welcome her friends and invite them in from the cold for some flower nectar and green leaves to climb upon.

The Tiny Princess was very excited about her party, and so, she waited and made sure everything was neat and orderly!

She knew that these round puffy things would make for some fun and soft landings.


She made sure there were  tieras too for her Ladybug friends! 

She was a stickler for details and made sure there were enough flowers for any shy ladybugs to hide behind or perhaps play with. What Ladybug doesn't like a pretty flower to sit upon. There were also random petals strewn about so if any were to loose their way, all they had to do was follow the petals home! Princess Ladybug was so happy, everything was in order!  

OH MY, she exclaimed, I hear the Ladybugs arriving!  So she hustled to the front door and saw beautiful little Ladybugs arriving, each smiling, greeting her with a soft hello!  Princess Ladybug was very happy and couldn't wait to show them her special surprise, but she waited till all the precious Ladybugs were safely here.
Ladybugs Stephie and Danielle
Ladybug Lia
Ladybug Jade
Ladybug Katie 
Ladybugs Mia and Maddie
The Palace was a buzz with sweetness.  Here are Ladybugs Sydney, Jade and Hayley, gathering closely as ladybugs often do.



How happy Princess Ladybug was, seeing her friends dancing and laughing, even stopping to pose for pictures!

So Princess Ladybug decided it was time to share her BIG SURPRISE!

HERE'S THE SURPRISE, THE BEST DIRT ON EARTH WAS HERE!  YEP FULL OF WORMS, SPIDERS AND OTHER LUSCIOUS, EDIBLES...WHAT A SURPRISE TO ALL HER LADYBUG FRIENDS!  
AND STILL MORE, FLOWERS AND LOT'S OF YUMMY, TASTY FLOWERS!  THIS GARDEN PARTY WAS MORE THAN A PRINCESS LADYBUG  COULD HAVE EVER DREAMED OF!  

(The dirt was delicious, email me for a recipe)

The festivities continued and Princess Ladybug was just in awe of her new twirly dress, the music, the dancing and the fact that she could have anything she wanted to eat this day!  She jumped, twirled and ran through the Palace with laughter.  In fact the entire Palace was full of little Ladybug giggles and laughter (the result of too much sugar).  However, there was still the issue of a flowered, cake that needed some attention.  So all the Ladybugs and their escorts gathered around the table for a new song that the Princess has heard earlier that week.  Everybody started singing Happy Birthday and she stood up and clapped her hands too.  Momma Ladybug made sure the Princess didn't try to step on the cake as it really looked like real flowers.  All in all the cake was cut, the cupcakes eaten and then on to more fun with play.  

NOW THIS IS A CAKE (we made sure it didn't go upside down into some bag, like the first one, these pastry chefs knew that special Ladybugs were depending on this cake)!

Happy Birthday Kira!  May your life be full of love, happiness and good health!   You will always be my sweet, darling button nose, Princess Ladybug, who has already made me the happiest Momma in the world!