Thankful

DEAR SWEET KIRA,

HAVE I TOLD YOU HOW MUCH YOU MAKE  ME SMILE EACH AND EVERY DAY?

IF I HAVE NEGLECTED TO, WELL, YOU DO!

HAVE I PLANTED ENOUGH KISSES ON YOUR FACE TODAY?

IF NOT, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I PLANT AN EXTRA FEW!

HAVE I WHISPERED IN YOUR EAR TODAY THAT I AM THANKFUL  YOU ARE A PART OF MY LIFE?

IF NOT, LET ME TELL YOU THAT I AM VERY THANKFUL AND WILL ALWAYS BE SO.  YOU ARE MY WORLD!

Tuesday's Thoughts

It's been a wild and crazy past few weeks and I have slacking here on my blog. But during the past few weeks I have seen some amazing changes in my little girl. She is incredibly independent, verbal and almost potty trained. She finally says "MOMMY" (instead of MAA, like blah), and has become so much more interactive with other children. I love to hear her giggles and babbling and bought a camera to capture these tender moments. When ever I figure out how to upload a clip I will be sure to post it.
She always amazes me with something new. For example, I was driving home from the store and instead of humming some country ballad to myself, I burst out with the ABC song. With the radio still on, I heard Kira say "L M N O P" AND ALMOST hit the brakes! At first I thought I was hearing things and turned off the radio, started over and she repeated it again. Oh my goodness, where have I been when she started learning the alphabet song? It was a very cute moment and she now still sings it with missing letters and her interpretation of the song (which somehow includes elmo). She also does the Itsy Bitsy Spider in her car seat and I just crack up, especially since I've not really acted out that song with her in a long time. But some how she remembers and sings outloud!

Okay, so I am THRILLED and yes bragging a bit! But isn't that the innate right of a Mom. Guess it's more special since clefting was assumed to affect her speech. But with words like tropical bird, giraffe, lion, baby and so many others, clearly she's determined to speak and hasn't displayed any speech issues for her age. I am so glad because some of her sleep issues and tantrums have also resolved with her ability to communicate more effectively. I now look back and think, you know, I would be pulling my hair, scratching and hitting myself too if no one could understand me.

So for the next few weeks I'll be paying more attention to my precious daughter so I don't miss her discovering new words or songs. I know she has an affinity for music and can even tap out a beat on her little legs, too funny!

Thinking of a Mother across the world

Without giving away my, unhmmm age here, let's just say many years ago the hopes and dreams of becoming a biological Mommy were dashed when I was quite young.   I spent the majority of my adult life trying to find answers and "replacements" for the void I had in my heart.  I've had few regrets along the way, one involving a previous relationship and the other not adopting sooner!!!   This post is still very difficult to write and talk about (goodness knows I'm never at a loss for words).  

However,  sixteen months ago I did become a Mommy, to the most amazing little girl in the world, my daughter Kira!  No one could ever convince me that she didn't come from my womb because of the immense love I have for this child.  I never thought it was possible to love so deeply, unconditionally and without conviction, until this child entered my life.  It is an amazing feeling, one that I am sure any mother biological or adoptive could appreciate and I am so glad that I can thank the PRC and Holt International for making my dream of motherhood, reality.  

However, there is also another very important person who I will always think about, not just on Mother's Day, but sometimes all through the year.  That person is Kira's biological mother, who resides half a world away.  I often hope that she knows how loved her daughter is and that she did find her way into our forever family.  I also hope that she is somehow at peace with herself for having to relinquish her tiny newborn.  I know that this woman loved Kira as she kept her for two months before leaving her to be found in Hunan.  It was due to Kira's clefting issue that we believe led to her abandonment, since surgery and follow up care is so expensive there.  It breaks my heart, but at the same time I know she did the right thing, for her baby's sake.  

So today, I am not thinking of myself, I am thinking of Kira's birth mother. 

Rain Rain go away!

A sunny Spring Day!  Amazing, the rain has finally subsided, at least for a while anyway.  Even Kira has been saying "outside" Mommy.  I think it's kind of cute that she asks to go outside because one of the first things that I recall from her social evaluation in You Xian was being fond of the outdoors.  And so she is, just like me:))

The past few days we've been playing and watching the flowers start to peek out of my little garden.  The grass is so green and the remnants of a cold winter are now long forgotten.  I almost can't believe that it's Spring, but every where you look there's pretty reminders.

I have neglected my blog and for good reasons.  My sweet daughter usually must have most of my attention, which makes it difficult to blog and keep up.  In addition, I am pursuing my love for photography and have been practicing diligently, which I find is quite time consuming.  Howver, it's so worth it and I can't wait to capture more photos of Kira.  Currently, she runs from the camera or turns her head and who could blame her:))  My good lens requires that I get right up in her face and I guess I would be put out too.  Give her a ball, elmo and a few skittles though and I think she'll cooperate.  Now I need an assistant to direct the light (as I now know from the Pixel Fairy Princess Workshop).