The China Stork came to New Jersey

We are simply over the moon in love with our little girl from China. We accepted the referral of an amazing baby girl on September 28th, 2007 and can not stop looking at her picture! She is from Hunan Province, our Spicy Girl and we can not wait to hold her in our arms.

The Waiting Child

As the months have past, I am incredibly amazed at how everyday I find something new to be grateful for. Then I think of the children, and hope that my blog will find it's way to others who will pass on the message of adopting. A decision that I never thought could be so powerful and full of love along the journey.



This is my favorite picture of a little girl who is deligently doing her studies while she waits...for a forever family who will love and hold her, providing her with butterfly kisses as she is gently tucked into a warm, cozy bed...but for now all she knows is how to wait.

The Waiting Child
by Debbie Bodie

I saw you meet
your child today
You kissed your
baby joyfully
And as you walked
away with her
I played pretend
you'd chosen me.

I'm happy for the baby,
yet
Inside I’m aching
miserably
I want to plead as
you go by,
``Does no-one want
a child of three?"

I saw you meet
your child today
In love with her
before you met
And as I watched
you take her out
I knew it wasn't
my turn yet.

I recognize you
from last year!
I knew I'd seen your
face before!
But you came for a
second babe.
Does no-one want
a child of four?

I saw you meet
your child today
But this time there was
something new
A nurse came in
and took MY hand
And then she gave
my hand to you.

Can this be true?
I'm almost six!
And there are
infants here you see?
But then you kissed me
and I knew
The child you chose
this time was me.
Poem Copyright
1997

What more could I possibly add to this amazing poem. I saw this and saved it for many months until I finally figured out I have to share this with the adoption community. For one, not only did we decide that our hearts were drawn to our Agencies Waiting Child program; but also that so many toddlers and older children, some with no apparent needs other than wanting a home and forever family. Fortunately for many children in China that do not get adopted they are placed in loving homes with foster parents. Other children have minor correctable conditions to more severe issues that can be treated with the appropriate resources.
I am amazed at how many special parents adopt these awesome children and then go back for siblings!

We chose this path enthusiastically and are energized by the fact we have the resources to help one child who will be our baby girl!

So for now sweet little one, your Momma and Baba patiently await the day you find your way to us!

One Year Ago

One year ago, this month we were doing the "paperchase" for a little girl we would come to name Kira. Though our little daughter is probably not even born yet, we couldn't help the joy and love we immediately felt. There was a connection, an unseparable bond between us, and emotions that only grew with each passing month. For us the "paperchase" was actually fun, it validated the adoption through all the notarizing, certifying and authentication we had to do. I remember when the brown envelope came all the way from Guangzhou, China, which meant our petition to adopt overseas was approved by the USCIS. Ultimately a red folder came with our completed Dossier from our agency and the wait was officially on.
Though, the time for a referral has almost doubled since last year, we still hold onto the hope of holding our daughter in our arms. We have no idea when, which is so frustrating, however as they say, patience is a virtue. I wasn't a patient individual then, but since, you can say I am learning. Perhaps, it's all for a reason, afterall as a first time Momma I'm gonna need patience. So I believe with all my heart, this wait, will be worth it.
I am trying so hard to remain optimistic for another whole year, maybe more, but I must, for as my friend said, "there is a little girl who needs me as much as I need her".
I so need you sweet Kira, to love, hold, comfort, inspire, teach and other things I can't think of without crying here. So for now, I must be content with knowing you will find your way to us when you are ready.
Something amazing to look forward to, our child, our daughter, our destiny.

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Time to Laugh

Okay, I am tired of thinking about how long this adoption will take and tired of trying to explain why! Surely I don't want to be in diapers too by the time we get our referral, but the year has truly gone by quickly and I have much to be thankful for. So whether I burst out in tears for no reason or find that I can't wait for Danicing with the Stars, American Idol and Jack Baur to get back on the air, I need to retain my sense of humor.
I have been thinking about all the things I have done to not think about the wait and here's the list:
- Started this blog
- Sorting out all the fabric for our One Hundred Good Wishes Quilt
- Have met some wonderful people also adopting from China
- Now down to 2 courses to finally finish my degree
- Learned how to make stained glass
- Currently learning how to make rag quilts
- Developed carpel tunnel from making stain glass and rag quilts!
- Started eating healthier (every other day)
- Having fun decorating my house (actually the decorator is having the fun(making money!)LOL
- Spending more time with family
- Figuring out how to get on the shows Extreme Makeover, or So you think you're Smarter than a 5th Grader
- Smores is my new favorite goodie.

Yep, those are just a few of the things I have been doing and thinking of doing lately.
Oh also looking at just a few baby necessities, like this carrier thing.


Doesn't look very comfortable though, a stroller seems just fine.

Gotta go, time for some rest.

Across the Ocean Blue

I wrote this poem for all the Mommies to be out there. The long wait is hard and I actually thought I had nothing to blog about this month. But instead I reached inside, and with a little attempt at prose decided to dedicate this to Adoption Mama's in waiting.



Across this ocean deep and blue,
A child waits for me and you.

Her anguished mother, so brave
and bold,
Wept softly placing her
infant down; desperately hoping her
child would be found.

This incredible act of courage and tears,
now brings hope to someone like me,
For I have waitied a lifetime to love a child
and finally be called "Mommy".

So while that day seems far away there is
always hope in my heart.
The love between a mother and child is one
that is not easily broken apart.
For now I pray for the orphans and their Mothers
too,
Hoping soon, one day, we will cross this great blue
ocean to you.
Ivy
WE WILL WAIT FOR YOU LITTLE ONE

Innocence

I put together this slideshow to remind me that we are not the only ones waiting. The pictures tug at my heart, but hopefully all the children will have loving homes. I also commend our agency, and so many others for working so hard in many countries to provide food, shelter and other necessities for the worlds orphaned children.

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Ladybug Sighting in NJ

Thoughts on good friends and daughters

For the first time since I moved back to NJ I have met some wonderful people, some through our adoption agency and others through the network of adoption.
Also since our new neighbors moved in, we have been hanging out and having some real fun for a change, like relaxing out on the back porch, sharing stories, going to the pool and laughing till my belly aches. One of the most endearing remarks Rob said was that he loved raising his two daughters while we were discussing our adoption. It was so funny because his 20 something youngest daughter said "Dad, why would you want girls? We are so difficult". Daddy Rob just replied, "there's nothing better then loving my girls". I almost cry when I write this, because it reminds me of how my Dad loves my sister and I (although to this day my sister thinks I am the fav because I am the oldest, but I say, what are you talking about Maxine, you got the nose job you wanted LOL).
So it all brings me back to how my husband "pretends" this wait doesn't bother him, but every now and then I catch him bragging about adopting, and talking about things we will do once we have our little baby girl. It is truly exciting to hear him talk about her and what kind of sports he already thinks we should get her started in (sports, is that what men think little girls should be doing on their free time, he's still has a little reading to do). Though he has already raised a wonderful son, I know he misses him a great deal, especially since he is away at college working. So l can tell he truly is excited about being a new Daddy again to a sweet little girl, who will also be a sibling to Kenan. These thoughts all warm my heart, the fact that one day, a child will be chosen for us, and this child will bring so much love and happiness into all our lives. This thought, this lifelong dream is what makes this wait so very worth it.

Mei Mei for Isabella

I was so touched to hear my friend Natalies' voice on the phone after she returned home from China. I had so many questions and she was patient enough to answer them all. Isabella got on the phone to say hello and her sweet voice just made me smile. I followed every bit of this journey and I am so happy everyone is home. You guys just made my week! Thanks Natalie for letting me post these pics so everytime I look at my blog I see these two magnificent children, nurtured with love and so happy. I cracked up at the pic of Elliana not wanting to put her feet on the grass. Wow does she have some exploring to do. Oh and by the way, I think Isabella is starting to love the camera, such a natural beauty. Well, congratulations again.
Give these girls big smooches for me.
While we are on the subject here of children, I was sitting outside a store waiting for Dani and lots of people were hurrying by to get out of the heat. Along comes this Mom and her two small little girls, the youngest probably 2 yrs old. As they past by, the little girl just turned to me and gave me this sweet little smile and waved at me with her tiny hand. So I waved back and thought, wow interesting, all the adults were just passing on by I guess trying to also get out of the heat, but one child made the effort to say hello. So perhaps as adults we need to be more like that little girl, and just say hi to someone to make their day.

Okay I know it's 9 months, but please tell that to my heart

I am going to try and mark this month as a true milestone in our adoption process. As I said earlier, most women would have already delivered at nine months, while those of us in the adoption journey endure a longer pregnancy, probably even longer than that of an elephant. However with a bit of humor, faith and patience, we are all hoping this wait shortens up. It's very easy to fall instantly in love with a child you will eventually have placed in your arms. Dani and I both feel that way and despite the rollar coaster ride of this journey, we are totally in love with a little girl from China whom we have never met. The facts we are certain of is she will be our forever daughter, have beautiful black hair and big brown eyes and may be as young as 9mths or old as 18mths. We have so many long months ahead, and hope will all our hearts this wait does shorten.

So we wait, I blog, shop, eat, journal, read, work, email, swap fabrics, make quilts, and so on.

Also on this July 7, 2007 I read an interesting fact, there are 7 spots on ladybugs, How cool.

Let's dance

This is what my heart say's every day

Yes my little one, my heart waits for you, this second, minute and every hour till the day we bring you home!

From the perspective of being Paper Pregnant

I used to think that waiting nine months for a baby was a long time for women who could get pregnant. Wow has my perspective has changed on that. According to our timeline, I am just starting a second trimester, so tell me friends, how do I justify "eating for two" and a weight gain that doesn't exactly show in my tummy, more like thighs and a little junk in the trunk here.


Well, it's all worth it as far as I see it. The wait and weight gain.

These Celeb's just wannt look like me!

This is too funny! Now if I could only dance like Nelly Furtado and do some of that belly dancing I'll be in good shape.

New Quilts and Birthday Gifts

Well, my sweet friend from California, Laura K. sent me this adorable flannel baby blanket for my Birthday. I bawled my eyes out thinking about our little one running around with this. I can't wait to tell our baby girl the story of how I had one too.. for 21 years! I so want to thank you Laura for such an amazing gift. You are so thoughtful as always. As soon as I can I will upload it for everyone to see.

I also want to thank my very dear friend Michelle for her Birthday surprises. She sent me Chinese Lullubies by the Beijing Choir, the most beautiful melodies I ever heard. In addition Baby Einstein sign language for little ones, and I must say it's a genius idea! What a great way to communicate. I may actually try it out at work! Also a J. Johnson CD that I can de-stress by on my way home. You're the best!

Laura and Michelle have kept me going through some tough waiting. Two fabulous ladies and wonderful friends. Thanks to both of you for making this Birthday so very special.

The flower and butterfly quilt was made by Melinda (again I don't sew, yet) and because I just loved the fabrics and flowers, I asked her to make me a crib quilt. It came out beautiful of course. Now the most interesting quilt she is making is from the 100 Good Wishes Quilt Swap. I participated in a Chinese Province and Culture Swap and each square represents something very specific pertaining to those themes. It's set on a pretty red flowered border. Thanks again Melinda for your talent.

Finally pics and more

WHEN I'M SLEEPIN IN, THERE'S DANI ON THE 18TH, OR 19TH, I ONLY PLAY MINI-GOLF

I'LL HAVE YOUR LEFTOVERS, NO PROBLEM

KISSES, KISSES AND MORE KISSES ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE KISS

OUR WEDDING 2005

BEWARE WATCH DOG (watching out for squirrels, bunnies, birdies and other furry friends ISN'T THAT NICE, MY STEPSON IS PICKING OUT MY RED FERRARI FOR ME HANDSOME STEPSON IN ITALY FOR SCHOOL BROADWAY, OOPS THE DANCERS ARE ONLY 3FT TALTHE YEARLY DANCE RECITALS AND PRETTY BALLERINAS ON POINTE' MY BROTHERS' TWO, AND THEY LOOK JUST LIKE ME! Little sister Maxine, I know what she's thinking "hey Ivy do I have to cook again, isn't this your house?" Oh come on sis, you know you love to cook, that's why I have you over so often!

Yes my sister is the most fabulous cook and baker. She could host a party for 100 and make everything. But I got wise and found this really cool store that sells everything pre-cooked. I mean if I am going to have to be in the kitchen, how can you enjoy the party.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW! (THE VERIZON MAN)

OUR BODYGUARD, BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW IT YET!

My sixteen year old nephew, how did you get so tall. It seemed just like yesterday when you were learning to talk and crawl. Now you're getting your permit to drive! I remember those days. Grown up Jake with his favorite AuntThat's my nephew Jake. Yep we share our Birthday's and love for family.


My Boy Recchi, to serve, protect and lick the bottom of all my yogurt containers.


Zella the cat getting scooby snacks. Wow looks like she's more interested in getting her picture taken too. Isn't she the cutest!



So for my friends, here's a peek into my life with family. My kids currently have fur and four legs and like to lick a lot and eat off the floor. Gee I hope I can change their eating habits soon LOL. The great thing about these animals, is the unconditional love they give in return. Some days I just want to stay home, not work just to give them more attention and love. It's actually very nice to know that they are good with children, especially the dog licker, he sees a little baby and pulls me towards the stroller, of course I move to the other side of the street until the Mom invites me over so her child can pet the big doggie. It's too funny, he gives one big lick, wags his tail and says, okay let's go home now and play some ball. I sit and daydream sometimes about the dog being chased around the house by this little toddler, our daughter! I can almost hear her laughing and running on the wooden floors as she tries to catch up with him. Oh, how I can't wait for that day and more. Guess for now I will continue to daydream about ladybugs and my little girl.

Advice from Holt

HAPPINESS

Every month a wonderful newsletter comes out from our agency. A few weeks ago I was asked if they could publish some witty comments I made about how to deal with the long waiting times. Actually all I did was follow the advice of Jania, who told me to have "fun" during the wait, so I followed her advice and did the following:
-Went on a great vacation
-Started back to college, again, now 2 course to go (will graduate with my stepson)!
-Re-decorated the house$
-Learning Mandatory Yoga!
-Accepted that you can eat ice cream and not feel guilty.
-Realized that calling Oregon and chatting with the China Team is very good Therapy!
-Day dreaming officially allowed, when not at work.
-Buying girly clothes is so much fun.
-Staying close with my adoption Mama's to be keeps me sane.
-Met our new neighbors, we finally have friends LOL
-Keeping a monthly journal for our little girl
-Have 3 quilts made alreaady!
-Learning to not dwell on this long wait, (just please pray it gets a wee shorter)

What is very exciting to me is that the front page features a little girl named Kira, another "Red Thread Connection" I say. Wow, it made happy.

Thanks Holt China Team for allowing me to help others get through this wait as well.

Ivy

It's My Birthday and I'll cry if I wanna

Yep another year older! Wiser I am not sure, (though I am back in college, again). Guess I will have to wait another year for our little one, but as they say, great things come to those who wait. How I hope, because I am waiting and waiting here!

Guess I have to reflect back on what a great year this really has been.

We started this journey, which is more than I could have ever dreamed of and I really am so very grateful to my supportive husband and adoring family. Yep, they too want this little one here soon as well, so it's good to know that my biggest fans are those I so very much love. So I give a big hug and smooch to my parents, sister Maxine and Company and brother Mark and Company. Remember nice nieces, you are now official babysisters! So I do feel happy today, to be surrounded by the love of family.
Oh and it's just not my birthday, it's nephew's Jake's too. Yep, what a great gift I got 15yrs ago when Jake was born, I even got to hold him before the doc handed him over to my sister! (She was too busy worrying about fainting). I paraded around with this tiny infant in the halls. It was a beautiful day, just like today.
Guess I can't complain, I could cry if I want to because I feel so old! But I won't, I do know I am content to know that what I have accomplished I am proud of, and will hopefully be the best Mama in the world (is that why they make those Baby Einstein CD's?).

So I look forward to this day and everyday. Thank you all for making this a very special day for me to always remember.

To Kira (waiting for us somewhere in China)

WO AI NI

I love you in my heart, it is all that I can do.

but soon, Sweet Kira, we will be holding you.

I think about that day and how happy we will be,

All the while I will remember of how you came to me.

We will travel around the world when the CCAA says "go",

To meet you dear child, hold you close not wanting to let go.

We promise all our love and will teach you properly;

Yet thru the years I will remember how you came to me.

As we wait, we realize how this house needs your laughter.

Yet as I sit to write this, I realize that finally we'll become a family

Forever after!

So for now, please know how very much you're loved.

Until we meet sweet darling, I'll think of your beautiful future to be,

Never forgetting, just how you got to me.

You have captured my heart, Kira Bella

Love,

Your Mama to be

IFS

Little ladybug come fly home to me!

Happy 8 Month LID Anniversary

We made it this far, now let's just hope this is the 1/2 way point. I really, really try to not look at dates, but I remember telling myself, June 6th will be 8mths since we were Logged in to the China Center for Adoption Affairs. I remember the email from our China Team leader, it was right before the holidays and I was so happy because at least we knew our precious dossier finally found it's way to it's own place in the stack of Dossiers. It was relief and one more small step to our baby girl. Now the wait has climbed to 20mths. So what's an "adoption Mama to be" to do...easy, shop, shop, shop and not for me for a change. What a great feeling, and it didn't take a Dove bar, nor Edy's "not so light" chocolate mint ice cream! I just have to lay off that stuff, the odd thing is I DON'T EVEN LIKE DOVE BARS AND ICE CREAM!


So retail therapy proved very PROFITABLE for the local baby boutique today. Funny that I just came from an eye doctor appointment and didn't realize that my eyes were dilated till I walked outside. Ouch, with sunglasses an all, I just happened to find myself stranded in a small strip mall where I was able to find shelter from the sun in this exlusive little baby boutique. How convenient was that! It really was too funny, because I couldn't see the prices, nor the sizes and had to ask these nice ladies to help me. They kept asking what size is the baby? I kept saying I don't know? Then they asked is she yours? And naturally I said yes. I just realized that they looked seemed very confused, so after a few awkward seconds, I proudly told them we were adopting. Then every sales lady bustled around to help (though I am not sure if it was the fact I still couldn't see the prices on those tags). It was too cute.




After I got home and parked in the driveway, I opened the bag of clothes and studied them for a few minutes. I started to imagine a little girl wearing these cute outfits and realized that little girl will one day be my daughter. So I cried, tears of joy of course, then gently refolded them and put them in my closet next to my favorite things and then ran straight to the ice cream, only this time, hubby beat me too it!

All I want for my Birthday Is our Daughter

After 5 cups of coffee, no chocolate and some good retail therapy, I am still hanging in there! It's the first week of the month again, and we wait patiently to find out how fast or slow waiting families are receiving their referrals. We still have at least another 12mths and sometimes the waiting just gets unbearable.

However, this month is special. I, along with my nephew Jake, will be celebrating our Birthdays on the same day! Yep, I was there when he showed his face to the world for the first time, and what a cute face it was and still is. Now 15 years later, I wonder how he got so tall and can kick my butt on the tennis court (then anyone can do that). So I realized, when you are really not paying attention to time, it just flies by without you knowing it! Guess that was the big light bulb moment that came on in my head. Not paying attention to the long wait will result in less intake of chocolate, coffee and birthday cake. My wonderful husband keeps asking me what I would like for my birthday and I keep telling him
ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS OUR DAUGHTER
Okay, time for a tissue and a reality check here. It's hard being "Paper Pregnant" for 19months or more, but I will stay true to our dream, because, somewhere in China a little girl will wait for us while we wait with open arms for her.

Legacy of the Adopted Child

I found this beautiful poem and thought what a sweet way to celebrate our journey as well as acknowledge the birth mothers of all the adopted children. I thought I would post it this month, to celebrate Mother's Day and Adoption Mommies to be day! Please enjoy.

Legacy of an Adopted Child Author -- unknown
Once there were two women, Who never knew each other. One you do not remember, The other you call mother.
Two different lives, Shaped to make yours one. One became your guiding star, The other became your sun.
The first gave you life, And the second taught you to live it. The first gave you need for love, And the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, The other gave you a name. One gave you the seed of talent, The other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, The other calmed your fears. One saw your first sweet smile, The other dried your tears.
One gave you up... It was all that she could do. The other prayed for a child, And God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me Through your tears, The age-old questions Through the years.
Heredity or environment... Which are you a product of? Neither, my darling...neither, Just two different kinds of love.

A great way to spend today

A few years back, my little niece decided to pursue dancing, (of course not without a little persuasion from her "Aunt Ivy" and a few bribes that she could sleep over any time she wanted!) While I have watched her blossom into an incredible ballerina, today I went to see my eleven year old celeb. practice. For at least 30 minutes she had no idea I was there, so I was privledged to watch her from a different perspective, a serious young dancer, now practicing with seasoned professionals for an upcoming recital that she had to audition for. The studio was very hot, the dancers at least 2hrs into a 3 plus hour rehersal, and lot's of taped toes and ankles. I saw a serious girl now, all eyes on her instructor and older mentors. Her movements fluid and graceful, as beads of sweat seem to make her face gleam in the light. I stood there in complete amazement at this child's complete attention to every detail. While most kids would be home on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, Nik was pouring her heart into learning this new routine. I wanted to run up and give her this great big hug, but of course didn't want to embarass her but more importantly distract her. Then as if we were both thinking the same thing, she turned around and stuck her tongue out at me!. Yep that's the little girl I am used to seeing, I laughed and it just made my day. I guess it's worth sharing, because while I would go to every performance, I never fully understood the hard work and her committment, until I watched today. Thanks Snickerdoodle, for putting a huge smile on my face!

Oh, and then it was onto the Battle of the Siblings as we headed to the Tennis Courts for some even hotter competition. Gee, I felt old, seemed like yesterday when I could run all over the courts, guess it was the fact that I was in sandals that slowed me down today (good excuse, but I was told I looked like I was swatting at flies). Yep kids say the most delightful things! So I am keeping this to remind myself and them, what good sports we all are, and that humor really should be part of every day!

I love you Jake, Syd and Snicker!

Aunt Ivy

I just love quilts!

Right click on the quilts for a close up picture

Thanks Melinda for making these beautiful quilts! I took some of the squares from my collection from the One Hundred Good Wishes Swap group on Yahoo, and with the amazing talent of Melinda Keppler had several crib quilts made. I received this photo today. I love it!

The first is a lap quilt that Melinda made after I sent her the border and backround. The fabric is darling and called Memoirs from China Mei Mei, with little sisters playing and celebrating life. She coordinated all the rest and what a great job, such a fine talent. Like I said I can't even sew buttons (hence velcro and zippers LOL).

The next phot is the very girly animal quilt done with the most adorable baby animal fabrics. Of course the back is PINK, and check out my favorite of the german shephard holding a stuffed cat in his mouth. That was my addition, since my pup walks around with some stuffed animal all the time, kind of like a kid with their stuffed toy!

Oh this really made a stressful day actually pretty nice. By the way I still haven't looked at my agency email. I think I will wait on that one.

Okay, now I can have another cup of coffee.

Thank you so much Melinda and Laura too!

Hugs to you both,

Ivy

It's that time of the month again!

Yep, it's that time of the month again, meaning the first week of every month when we all find out how quick or slow the CCAA has progressed in April. For me, this means my palms are sweating, my heart is skipping a beat and I am sure I will make Dani completely crazy for at least the next few days trying to make sense of why the wait keeps getting longer. As I write this blog entry an email awaits me from our agency notifying all of the dates the CCAA has matched up to and usually the Provinces the children from which this group of children came from. I don't know whether to delete it, or open it out of pure curiosity. But my curiosity may turn into this pain of disappointment if they haven't finished October yet.

Every month I try a new approach, emotionally that is, like empathy, jubilation (haven't felt that since they did 2 entire months of reviews), anticipation, apathy, logic, distractions (shopping is a good one), lately, someway to calm myself versus the above surge of adrenaline that I no longer get from java. It's all part of the process I keep telling myself. But would someone please convince my heart!

I guess I want some sort of symmetry here versus ambiguity. I want so desparetly to be holding our daughter sooner rather than later. Since I have never been a Momma before, I don't even know if these emotions make sense, but yet month to month I do try and stay focused on the end result, finally having the child we so desparetly and patiently waited for! Yes, that makes this entire wait worth it. So for now, yep I am hanging again, by a Thin Red Thread,

and will lay off the coffee for a bit.

Ivy